Things That Confuse and Anger Me About the Harry Potter Series: Order of the Phoenix Part 2

By Ashley


1. Fond as I am of the Sorting Hat, I have a bit of a hang up with its new song. It just makes all the founders except for Hufflepuff sound not so nice. They’re all into teaching certain students, but Hufflepuff is just standing there like, Uhm, okay, I’ll just take the magical children you douches don’t want. Hufflepuff is the only house that seems to be interested in equality among students, and yet J.K. Rowling never does anything interesting with it. All the cool characters from that house (all two of them) end up dead and we never see Hufflepuff house at all. J.K. Rowling really undermines her tolerance message with the lack of development for Hufflepuff (and to a lesser extent Ravenclaw).

2. Why are Harry and Ron still taking Divination? They hate it and I’m pretty sure it’s not necessary. Like you have your sort of general education classes, which I would assume are potions, transfiguration, history of magic and charms. And then other shit that you take that suits the career you want. Divination is not required to become an Auror. WHY ARE THEY STILL TAKING THIS CLASS?

3. “Cedric had been Cho’s boyfriend and the memory of his death must have affected her holiday almost as badly as it had affected Harry’s…”


How self-centered is this little shit? Like, okay, yeah, you saw Cedric die and you’re traumatized from your fight with Voldy, I get that. But you weren’t close friends with Cedric; he was a guy you sort of knew and often times didn’t like very much because you had a boner for his girlfriend. Cho was in a fucking relationship with him. She probably spent the entire summer in a deep depression, you insensitive fuck.

Hit the jump for Sirius being even more of a dick, racially charged insults, even more angsty Harry, and more…

4. Hermione’s house elf hats = super fucked up. This is that self-righteous, annoying side to her activism that I was talking about before. Leaving out hats for the house elves is so disrespectful to them; it takes away their right to decide if they pick it up by accident (because she’s covered it with rubbish). It bothers me a lot that J. K. Rowling decided to turn Hermione’s activism into a bit of a joke throughout the series.

5. Ahhh, I hate this early animosity between Hermione and Luna. I love Luna. I love Hermione. Why can’t they just be friends?

6. Umbridge’s detentions are sick. Like, really, really sick and disturbing. I’ve always hated that Harry never went to McGonagall or Dumbledore about it because of his pride. Even if she is appointed there by the minister, they would’ve done something. There’s no way they would have let a teacher abuse her power over students like that. No fucking way.

7. I’ve always thought Pansy’s comment about Angelina’s hair—“Why would anyone want to look like they’ve got worms coming out of their head!”—is really racially charged. Angelina is one of the five significant black characters in the series (the others being Lee Jordan, Dean Thomas, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Blaise Zabini); it’s like Pansy’s life is so upper-class, so secluded from people who aren’t “Pureblood,” so goddamn white that the concept of people of color’s hair (OMG IT’S SO DIFFERENT FROM WHITE PEOPLE’S HAIR) is something she has to make fun of. Racist bitch.

8. Further proof that Sirius is a shitty godfather: when Harry discourages him from coming to Hogsmeade in dog form because the Ministry is catching on to where he is, Sirius says “you’re less like your father than I thought…the risk is what would have made it fun for James.” WOW. You’re seriously gonna guilt your godson for not taking risks during this very dangerous time, and for being concerned about you? Sirius should have never been made a godfather. Another thing that pisses me off: in the fourth book, when Hermione is talking about the rights of house elves and Ron disregards it, Sirius says that she’s got the right idea, that you can tell more from a man by how he treats those who aren’t equal to him. But in this book, he treats Kreacher like shit, which ultimately ends very badly. I just don’t understand the huge character shift that happens between the fourth book and this one.

9. When Hermione and Ron suggest that Harry teach them Defense Against the Dark Arts he basically lists all the things I’ve been saying about his fights with Voldy: he’s succeeded at all of them with luck and help. It confuses me so fucking much because for the first chunk of the book he’s all bitchy because he’s done so much more than them and then, when they actually want to give him some leadership and acknowledge the things that he’s done he’s all “Oh, no, I’m not special!” What the fuck, Harry, make up your fucking mind. And I’ve never really understood this anyway; if anyone should be teaching them it should be Hermione because up until this point it’s been her who’s always had the ability to read things, understand them, apply them, and do them right. I don’t understand why they can’t teach it together, mixing Harry’s firsthand experience with Hermione’s understanding of theory and ability to apply it practically. But whatever, Harry is wizard Jesus and he has to be Mr. Leader Man.

10. Let’s play “What’s Going To Try To Knock Harry off His Broom During the First Quidditch Match of the Season”! Unfortunately, due to the Triwizard Tournament there was no Inter-House Quidditch Tournament during Harry’s fourth year so I didn’t get to play this game. And I’ll admit, this year is probably the most normal first match of the season he’s ever had; nothing jinxed to try to kill him, no Grim, no Dementors. At the tail end of the match though, he gets knocked off his broom by a Bludger. So there’s that. Oh, and the fight that he and George get into with Malfoy after they land gets he and Fred chucked off the team. Damn, this kid just can’t have a normal first match of the season.

11. This is something I’ve never really understood about the books: why, after the first book, does everyone continue to insist that they have no idea how Harry survived the night his parents died? When Cho mentions it, Harry says that he doesn’t know how and neither does anyone else. But…but….Dumbledore basically says at the end of Philosopher’s Stone that Lily died to save Harry, that her sacrifice is what saved him. So….wut?

12. The really hard line between “Harry and Ron are boys and therefore don’t understand emotions” and “Hermione is a girl and therefore is super smart about emotions” has always irked the shit out of me. To me, it doesn’t make Harry and Ron seem like “average boys”; it makes them seem like emotionally stunted children who can’t be bothered to use their brains enough to figure out how people are feeling. And Hermione’s over-detailed analysis of Cho’s emotions is just too much, even for Hermione. Even the most sensitive, in-tune-to-other-people’s-emotions types couldn’t lay out in that extreme of detail what someone (who they don’t even really talk to) is feeling. AND it doesn’t even really match with Hermione’s personality; she’s all about logic. She’s like Spock in that way. Her acting this way makes no sense to me. It is not logical, captain.

13. We had several hundred beautiful pages of angst-less Harry. But then he has his little snake dream, thinks he’s being possessed and used as a weapon and totally shuts himself off from everyone. Like you do. It’s so frustrating to me that instead of talking to his closest friends about what’s going on and trying to figure it out he just assumes the worst and cuts them out and then assumes that they all must be talking about him behind their back. The confrontation scene between him, Hermione, Ron and Ginny is awesome and probably my favorite moment with Ginny in the entire series. She, unlike Ron and Hermione, is not afraid to get in his face and call him out on his foolishness and that’s something that Harry needs in his life.

Again, I will leave my dearest readers hanging. As always, comment to your hearts content! This epic Harry Potter post shall conclude tomorrow!


Filed under Literature

3 responses to “Things That Confuse and Anger Me About the Harry Potter Series: Order of the Phoenix Part 2

  1. No. 6 has always bothered me. I have always hated the “don’t let them win” reasoning of just taking abuse. Like, if you’re just being irritated by someone, yeah, you should learn to cope like an adult and realize personalities clash. But most of them it’s used as some bullshit point about just grinning and bearing it in regards to awful situations. And here, it doesn’t get much worse: she is TORTURING students. Like, seriously, just let a single parent learn that a child is having his or her hands carved and see how long it takes Fudge’s entire administration to collapse.

    Umbridge is just so cartoonishly evil that the only way to justify her existence is essentially not to acknowledge it anywhere outside Harry Potter’s solipsist horror show. It still doesn’t explain why OTHER students didn’t report it.; Lee gets the same treatment, and Harry’s response is the magical equivalent of “Rub some dirt on it and suck it up.” Shit, if this can go on, Filch should have just straight-up murdered a kid long ago to let off some steam. Clearly he could have gotten away with it.

    In fairness to no. 11, I’ve read these books several times and still don’t understand this, “Shut up, it’s love” reasoning. This is one of the dumbest get-out clauses I’ve ever dealt with in fiction and even as a kid I kept reading each book looking for a real reason for Harry living despite this being answered in the first book. It is that thin and stupid that even 10 or 11 y.o. me could not accept it. Like, how fucking cowardly is the wizarding world? Has no one ever taken a shot for someone in this world? The later Horcrux shit tried to sort this out by saying Voldy’s soul was too unstable, but fuck, how many people has he casually killed since then without incident? So I can’t quite fault Harry for living a life built upon a bed of leaves over a plot hole.

  2. Number twelve made me think of my favorite line from the whole series (and maybe it’s in this book): “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon, Ron, doesn’t mean everyone else does!”

    Great stuff. xD

  3. I don’t think my other messages have gotten through to you…I posted my last two earlier this week:

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