So. You’ve just watched the trailer for Stephen Daldry’s film adaptation of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. You’re confused, and perhaps a little curious. “Why does that title have so many adverbs?” you wonder aloud. “And can my body really withstand that much exposure to U2?” I understand. I was once like you. In order to assuage your confusion, I’ve assembled this little set of Frequent Asked Questions…
Q: Are you fucking kidding me?
A: No. It’s for real.
Q: After 2 1/2 minutes of über-precocious voiceover, I really hate that kid. Is this normal?
A: Oh my yes.
Q: Why does Tom Hanks laugh so hard when his son brings him a rock? It’s just… a rock.
A: I don’t know, but the answer probably has to do with 9/11.
Q: How many shots does the trailer contain where Sandra Bullock cries while reminiscing about her husband, embracing her son, or sitting down?
A: So many. But seriously, it was like 6.
Q: Why would finding what the key fits be a miracle?
A: Because, silly: New York! Imagination! Adventure!
Q: I see that the kid meets an irascible Max von Sydow. Will he teach Max von Sydow to stop being so irascible and appreciate life again?
A: Almost certainly YES.
Q: The kid then encounters John Goodman, who also looks pretty irascible. Will the same life appreciation lessons apply here?
A: See previous answer.
Q: At 1:44, why is the kid surrounded and touched by “ethnic” people?
A: I don’t know, but I’d guess it involves the words “precocious,” “messianic,” and “9/11.”
Q: Do the streets really have no names? Or are their names just very well-hidden?
A: Only Bono knows for sure.
Q: Was this trailer inspired by the “Forts & the Inbetween” video?
There you go! The trailer has been demystified. I’ll have another FAQ ready in January, when EL&IC sweeps up every possible Oscar nomination, including one for Best Animated Short Film.