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Link Dump: #55

The first kitty of 2012 comes from the British horror movie Kill List. Look at it! It’s eating from the dinner table! The same table that’s poisoned by marital discord. But at least the kitty’s cute. Anyway, here’s a collection of links spread across the end of 2011 and the beginning of this beautiful new year:

Somebody actually searched for the phrase “butt secks.” I also like how blunt “lust and fucking” is. And what was the person who typed in “inosent sex toons” expecting to find?

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Link Dump: #19

As you may have noticed, Pussy Goes Grrr has been postless for almost a solid week. The reasons for this are twofold: 1) Ashley’s classes recently started and 2) I am still buried, à la Ted Danson in Creepshow, in my 25-page comps (i.e., giant senior project) on female sexuality in horror. But never fear! Starting probably next week, we’ll have some new, exciting blogging surprises in store for you. Potentially including something really, really awesome. Be sure to tune in and find out! (I love talking about the Internet like it’s a radio.)

In other news, Angela Bettis plays a great neurotic/psychotic in May (2002), which is what 1/4 of my comps is about, but Anna Faris as her lesbian coworker is just so goofy and lovable that she steals every scene she’s in. She’s the malapropism-wielding yang to May’s awkward, understated yin. “Do you like pussy… cats?” That should be this blog’s motto. That said, here are some links:

  • William Ahearn writes extensively about the origins of the term “film noir.”
  • Simon Hattenstone of The Guardian profiles influential (and awesome) feminist artist Cindy Sherman.
  • Not Coming to a Theater Near You has a piece on private eye movies of the 1970s, when Elliott Gould was the new Bogart.
  • EdenCafe gives us “Self-Love, Sex Toys, and Men,” which could also be titled “How NOT to Write About Sex Toys.” It’s comically atrocious, and inane enough to make an entertaining read.
  • Speaking of horrible things, Family Research Council leader Tony Perkins wants you to know that The Kids Are All Right sucks because it didn’t make enough money, and it’s about lesbians. Also the Golden Globes are evil. And MLK apparently agrees with him.
  • After making a jackass of himself at the NYFCC awards last week, professional martyr Armond White explains in voluminous, self-aggrandizing detail why he has been wronged. By the Internet, naturally. Then J. Hoberman responds. (If you can’t tell, I’m not a fan of White’s personality or his obfuscation-happy criticism.)
  • Gasp! Breaking news: Archie Comics is dropping the Comics Code Authority seal of approval from its products! Tony Perkins was right; the liberals are destroying American culture!

We had so many wacky search terms this week that I had to prune the list. We can’t just let any ol’ search term into the hall of shame, like the unimpressive “frog vag,” “leg cast fucking,” or “best looking vagina in 2010.” No, they had to be extra weird this week. Some I picked because of the phrasings: “you might gonna get raped maybe” sounds so indecisive that it renders itself meaningless, while “nope can’t go to hell,” with its unpunctuated urgency, makes me imagine a sequel to Rain Man where Dustin Hoffman travels to the underworld – flying Qantas, I assume.

From the “Bizarre Free Association” Department comes “bus ride,clit,” and we have another oddity that combines bad grammar and redundancy, “she are fucking a female cow.” The last (and best?) brings together unbelievable vileness, forcefulness, and length, and wins our Yuckiest Search Terms of the Week award (I guess), because it’s “i am going to hold you and that dog is going to fuck your pussie video.”

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Link Dump: #9

Dwain Esper’s exploitation film Maniac (1934) is not kind to cats. They get thrown into rooms, forced to fight with each other, and are the subject of much bizarre dialogue. Even though vaudevillian-turned-fake-scientist Don Maxwell (Bill Woods) insists that he won’t use cats in experiments, he nonetheless plucks out his cat Satan’s eye and eats it. Thankfully, it’s obvious that they’re switching between a black cat and an already one-eyed tabby, but it’s still disconcerting. The film manages to butcher Poe by making his story’s far, far weirder. Anyway, here’s some links!

  • Oh my God, plushies and embroidery can be cute sometimes! Behold: Mr X Stitch. My favorite is the Catwoman.
  • The dating site OkCupid has aggregated statistics from their gay and straight customers. Some of their astonishing revelations: all gay people aren’t actually promiscuous sexual predators hungering for converts. Also, not all straight OkCupid users are totally straight all the time. (Shocking, right?!)
  • Jessica Winter of Slate writes about “The film career of David Bowie.” This includes plenty of The Man Who Fell to Earth. “Get out of my head!” (And speaking of Bowie’s film career…)
  • Really, MPAA? “Male nudity“? (Apparently, yes.)
  • Good ol’ cuckoo puff Armond White took a shot at bloggers and Rotten Tomatoes a few weeks ago. Man, is his critique scathing! It cut me to the bone, emotionally speaking. I think my favorite part starts here:

“Attacks from bloggers—crude interlopers of a once august profession— are not about diversity of opinion. What’s at root is an undisguised rivalry. Every moviegoer with a laptop claims equal—vengeful—standing with so-called professionals. This anti-intellectual backlash defies the purpose of the Circle’s founding in 1935. Professional dignity is the last thing Internetters respect.”

  • Oh my, no! I’m such an anti-intellectual Internetter! You know, White’s persecution complex would be a much more valid argument against online film journalism if his writing weren’t nonsensical shit. (I really dropped the sarcasm there.)
  • Apparently we were supposed to have some visitors from the stars on Wednesday. A retired NORAD officer said so!
  • These outtakes give some cool insights into Humphrey Bogart’s acting process. (For example: when he missed a line, he’d say, “Goddammit!”)
  • Adam Zanzie and Ryan Kelly, of Icebox Movies and Medfly Quarantine respectively, have announced a Spielberg Blogathon for mid-December! You’ve got two whole months to prepare.

On the search term front, we had a few good ones this week. The people looking for pictures of animal genitalia are getting more specific; this time around we had not only “frog pussy,” but also “chinese frog vagina.” What, American frog vaginas aren’t good enough for you? In the “Deeply Unpleasant” department, we had the classic “most excruciating climactic screwing of.” I prefer my climactic screwings of to not be excruciating, if you please. To the person who searched for “sex war 1945 pussy,” I’m sorry to inform you that the war from 1939-45 was actually a World War, not a Sex War. And finally, I can only stare in befuddlement: “sexy wig for masturbation.” Yes. That says what it looks like. “Sexy wig for masturbation.” Thanks for reading, folks!

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Link Dump: #3

[Via Esteemed.]

Welcome to the mid-August edition of the somewhat-weekly-but-not-really Pussy Goes Grrr Link Dump! Since I’m here in PA with Ashley, new posts may be more frequent. Or less frequent. Guess you’ll just have to keep reading and find out! We’ve been trawling high and low on the Internet lately, finding it to be equal parts enlightening and infuriating. So here’s some of the best of that.

  • Our mutual friend Rebekah has recently been sharing her ultra-zeal for McSweeney’s Panorama, which holds a little bit of everything amazing from the world of cosmopolitan comics & short fiction. Check it out. She also met character actor James Cromwell this morning. Go her!
  • Since I go to a college that self-identifies as “quirky,” I was instantly drawn to this great, in-depth essay on “the quirky” in contemporary indie films, from Charlie Kaufman to Diablo Cody to Wes Anderson and beyond, located at Notes on metamodernism. (For an unabridged version of the essay in .pdf form, see here.)
  • The AV Club’s Tasha Robinson wrote a hilarious (and strangely revealing) Commentary Tracks of the Damned column about Troy Duffy and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. If you’ve ever wanted to learn first-hand about the misogyny of a scuzzy Bostonian filmmaker, here’s your chance.
  • While many of Armond White’s recent film reviews have contained just the right proportion of nonsense and pretentiousness, his take on Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups might be the best. My favorite line: “One ploy of Sandler and Fred Wolf’s screenplay is to democratize humor—spread affectionate derision all around—by repeating jokes that grow into an appreciation of our full humanity.” But it’s all golden.
  • Want to talk about when you realized part of your identity? Then send in a submission for Happy Bodies’ “When did you know…?” series!
  • Finally, Ashley discovered [via thoudostwish] this awesome Russian photography project, which includes some pin-up-style images like a tribute to Bride of Frankenstein.

Ashley says:

Here’s this week’s collection of the scariest/funniest/weirdest search terms that have led people to our blog. Having the word ‘pussy’ in your blog title really brings out the creeps.

  • “pussy ripped apart gore” and “women rape and murdered”
  • “oskar sees elis pussy”-for those that don’t know, Eli from Let the Right One In does not have a pussy.
  • “play mulan disney princess sex fuck game” and “fairy fucks the beast while bell watches””
  • “sheep’s vagina resembles a woman’s”
  • “sister using barbie doll to masterbate”
  • “fucked up pussy she died”

What the fuck is wrong with you, Internet surfers?

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