GOF PART DEUX. ACTION:
1. How did Hagrid’s dad and mom get it in? She was like, a 40-foot tall giantess and he was a little dude. My roommate and I were trying to come up with the ways that he could have done this. I maintain that he just walked into her vag and jerked off while she thinks he walked right up to an egg and fucked it. (Seriously, this really lends itself to some bizarre thinking patterns; it’s unsettling.)
2. At one point, Hermione asks Harry and Ron whether or not they’ve been paying attention to their history lessons on goblin rebellions and they state flat-out, “No.” Stellar students, those two. I know I gripe a lot about what apathetic students they are but it just really, really bothers me. Like, they’re basically going to a high-end private boarding school and being given access to a top-notch education. School is what introduced Harry to the Wizarding world in the first place! And it’s especially annoying because their grades never really seem to suffer for the indifference they show in their studies, unless it’s a teacher who actively dislikes them, like Snape. It annoys me a lot that the characters who are really into their studies are presented as either super annoying (Percy, Hermione at times) or are used by Harry and Ron for notes and homework help (Hermione, big time).
After the jump, read about Snape, athlete privilege, Molly Weasley being a bitch, and more…
Well, folks, at the halfway mark! And this one is a doozy. It’s so large, in fact, that I’ve decided to split it up over two posts. The first part today, second next Wednesday! Please enjoy!
Things That Confuse and Anger Me About the Harry Potter Series: Goblet of Fire
1. In this book we learn about the Weasley’s nifty little clock: it tells whether each member of the family is “home,” “work,” “traveling,” “prison,” etc. One of the options is “mortal peril.” This got me wondering: wouldn’t Mr. and Mrs. Weasley know immediately all the times any of their children went on dangerous excursions with Harry? Ron going after the Philospher’s Stone; Ron and Ginny being in the Chamber of Secrets; Ron being attacked by Sirius?
2. This is something that has always bothered me since I first read the book, but even more so now as an adult who is a feminist and activist: Hermione’s activism for House Elf rights and how it’s treated in the book. Hermione becomes a well-meaning, though misled and self-righteous, activist for the welfare of House Elves after she discovers how badly they’re treated and how the law disregards them. She has some truly feminist-licious lines like: “It’s people like you, Ron, who prop up rotten and unjust systems…” With Hermione’s activism we have two sides of the feminist coin. It’s so cool to see a main character in a popular book being unapologetically an activist, lobbying for the rights, welfare and enfranchisement of a non-privileged class. However, Hermione’s activism is at times very reminiscent of the typical Western, white, middle-class feminism, in that it’s so self-righteous and she is completely unwilling to recognize the voice of the very people she’s trying to end oppression against. It’s basically like every white feminist who speaks about how horribly oppressed women of other cultures are while ignoring the stories and experiences of those women.
Read more about SPEW, the Yule Ball, and J.K. Rowling’s hilarious problems with spatial perception after the jump…