HBP: PART DEUX! ACTION!
1. I really hate the amount of girl-on-girl hate in this book. Whether it’s between Hermione/Ginny and Fleur, Lavender and Hermione, or Pansy and EVERY SINGLE OTHER GIRL IN THE CASTLE, it’s just so overwhelming and annoying. A lot of the “real-life teenager” aspects of JKR’s books are a little over-the-top and not that well-written. Add that to the fact that she has lingering resentment towards girls who were mean to her in school (which I’ll talk more about later during the epilogue of the 7th book) that colors the way she writes some of her teenaged female characters, and it’s just really, really fucking annoying to me. This is a magical fucking world; do you really need to keep perpetuating the same tired old gender stereotypes?
2. There has only ever been one thing in the entire series that has made Harry consider skipping a Quidditch match: Draco Malfoy. Seriously….between his epic bromance with Ron, the disturbing amount of times he thinks Tom Riddle is handsome, and his obsession with Draco Malfoy, can you really blame people like me for picking up on these totally fucking homoerotic undertone? It’s not just wishful thinking; I’m practically drowning in gay subtext over here.
After the jump, read more about Dumbledore’s time-wasting, potentially awesome monsters, and stupid relationships…
So, we are slowly but surely reaching the end point of this project of mine. Rereading this book was a much more pleasant experience than rereading Order of the Phoenix, obvs, but I still had quite a few problems with it! So without further rambling, here’s the first part of my critique of HBP.
1. I am four chapters in and I have found nothing to say yet. This is pretty astounding. Especially considering that in Order of the Phoenix it took me about 3 pages to start bitching. What an improvement. (Oh, my God, I’m into the sixth book and I’m still talking about book five. I think this reread has made me hate that book. Okay, maybe not hate—I don’t hate any of them—but it’s made me realize that it’s my least favorite and probably the worst in the series.)
2. This is something that is a bit of a joke between Andreas and I: the way J.K. R. just cannot stop herself from describing how fat Slughorn is every single time he’s on the page. Like…seriously, there is always like five different mentions of his huge stomach or fat hands or how he resembles a walrus or…something! We get it! He’s fat! We got it the first fifty times you mentioned it. She might as well write “Slughorn fatly moved his fatness across the room and he was fat while he did it. FAT.” This kind of connects to something else that I have an issue with: almost every single fat or larger-than-average character is mean or unpleasant. Dudley, Vernon, Aunt Marge, Millicent Bullstrode, Crabbe and Goyle, Peter Pettigrew, Myrtle. Even Neville doesn’t get “cool” and more confident until he’s older—and thinner. I’m surprised she didn’t go all the way with the “fat=bad” shit and make Voldemort a 400 pound snake-man who swoops in on a flying bed covered in ice cream and Cauldron Cakes.
Hit the jump to see who gets unfairly hit by the “implausible love” train, Harry being a dick (shocking, I know), Ron’s ugly jealousy and more…