Tag Archives: Happy Bodies

Link Dump: #7

Damn, life in 1930s Connecticut was swanky. Look at that dress! It’s really perfect leopard-petting apparel. Here’s some links I gathered over the past week that could come in handy if you need to go “gay all of a sudden“:

  • From the “Last Year’s News” department, I just read this 7-month-old article by Paul Tatara bitching about Avatar and eulogizing Eric Rohmer. I wouldn’t link to it, but it’s so insightful, well-written, and bittersweet that I couldn’t help it. Besides, it contains a still from Claire’s Knee.
  • Say it ain’t so, PTA! The Master, the latest project from the genius/director of Magnolia and There Will Be Blood, has been indefinitely suspended. And it would’ve starred Philip Seymour Hoffman, too!
  • Shanna Katz writes in “No, I’m NOT Her Roomate” about heteronormativity and fuckers who refuse to acknowledge queer relationships as legitimate.
  • Static Nonsense at Some Assembly Required talks about sexuality and OCD, touching on some problems with the word “bisexual.”
  • Jezebel has the scoop on what’s next for DADT. Maybe soon the answer can firmly be “repeal”? Eh, Obama administration?
  • Dan Savage has started the beautiful It Gets Better project on YouTube to help gay teenagers. It’s really inspiring; go watch some of the videos. (Happy Bodies talks about It Gets Better as well.)
  • Big Think has a 20-minute interview with John Waters about filth, art, his new book Role Models, Salò, and more! The man is an indisputable genius and you need to watch this whole thing. Right now.
  • From the 13th issue of Rouge, a film magazine, published in March ’09, here’s an essay entitled “The Secret Life of Objects” by Mark Rappaport. It’s lengthy, but very rewarding, as it addresses Hollywood studios’ reuses of certain sets, paintings, and statues across the films of the 1940s and ’50s. Give it a read.
  • You know what’s freaking aweso.me? Freaking Aweso.me’s “ridiculous detailed” zombie poster. It’s a rotting hand and it’s got the names of almost 1,000 zombie movies/books/video games and you can zoom in to read it closer online. All I can say is, “BRAAAINS!”

This was a disappointing week in search terms, but we did get some wacky pussy-related entries. Like that immortal question, “woman puts dog food in pussy why”? Why indeed. Or another timeless riddle: what is the “sound made by pussy when fucking”? Forsooth, learned men have been pondering the sound of one pussy fucking for eons now. Someone wonders, “do you see princess mononoke’s pussy”? I reply: 1) her name’s not actually “Princess Mononoke,” but San and 2) NO, YOU DON’T! Duh. Next: “pregnant open pussy and baby can be seen.” Ummm. Yeah. And finally, “the old testament the book of smut.” I do not believe the Old Testament contains such a book. But I could be wrong.

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Filed under Cinema, Feminism, Media, Meta, Personal, Sexuality

Link Dump: #3

[Via Esteemed.]

Welcome to the mid-August edition of the somewhat-weekly-but-not-really Pussy Goes Grrr Link Dump! Since I’m here in PA with Ashley, new posts may be more frequent. Or less frequent. Guess you’ll just have to keep reading and find out! We’ve been trawling high and low on the Internet lately, finding it to be equal parts enlightening and infuriating. So here’s some of the best of that.

  • Our mutual friend Rebekah has recently been sharing her ultra-zeal for McSweeney’s Panorama, which holds a little bit of everything amazing from the world of cosmopolitan comics & short fiction. Check it out. She also met character actor James Cromwell this morning. Go her!
  • Since I go to a college that self-identifies as “quirky,” I was instantly drawn to this great, in-depth essay on “the quirky” in contemporary indie films, from Charlie Kaufman to Diablo Cody to Wes Anderson and beyond, located at Notes on metamodernism. (For an unabridged version of the essay in .pdf form, see here.)
  • The AV Club’s Tasha Robinson wrote a hilarious (and strangely revealing) Commentary Tracks of the Damned column about Troy Duffy and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. If you’ve ever wanted to learn first-hand about the misogyny of a scuzzy Bostonian filmmaker, here’s your chance.
  • While many of Armond White’s recent film reviews have contained just the right proportion of nonsense and pretentiousness, his take on Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups might be the best. My favorite line: “One ploy of Sandler and Fred Wolf’s screenplay is to democratize humor—spread affectionate derision all around—by repeating jokes that grow into an appreciation of our full humanity.” But it’s all golden.
  • Want to talk about when you realized part of your identity? Then send in a submission for Happy Bodies’ “When did you know…?” series!
  • Finally, Ashley discovered [via thoudostwish] this awesome Russian photography project, which includes some pin-up-style images like a tribute to Bride of Frankenstein.

Ashley says:

Here’s this week’s collection of the scariest/funniest/weirdest search terms that have led people to our blog. Having the word ‘pussy’ in your blog title really brings out the creeps.

  • “pussy ripped apart gore” and “women rape and murdered”
  • “oskar sees elis pussy”-for those that don’t know, Eli from Let the Right One In does not have a pussy.
  • “play mulan disney princess sex fuck game” and “fairy fucks the beast while bell watches””
  • “sheep’s vagina resembles a woman’s”
  • “sister using barbie doll to masterbate”
  • “fucked up pussy she died”

What the fuck is wrong with you, Internet surfers?

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Filed under Cinema, Meta, Personal

For only $19.95, you can get 20% more self-esteem!

So today, I got a friend request on Facebook. I wasn’t sure if I knew this person or not because I know a lot of people on the interwebz and I never know if someone might send me a friend request and I also have a bad memory sometimes. So I accepted it just to see and I immediately got this message about how she saw that I was active on the Happy Bodies blog and all this shit and was eager to ‘share something with me and my group’:

Hey Ashley,

The Body Magic is manufactured by a company called Ardyss International. It is medical grade body reshaper, designed by an orthopedic surgeon and medical engineer. The garment corrects the posture, supports the spine, lifts the breasts, cinches the waist, plumps the rump, and creates an instant hourglass figure – no dieting, no pills, no surgery. The garment even causes the internal organs to return to their proper places internally! (I have MRI images that proved this to me!)

As for me personally – I got married last November and some how, some way gained 25 pounds! (my husband is such a spoiler) While my husband loves me regardless, and so do I, I wasn’t really pleased with how I suddenly looked in my clothes. After putting on this garment however, INSTANTLY, my body was transformed and I had an amazing figure. I had an instant boost to my self esteem and confidence, not that I suffered from low self esteem and confidence before, because I’ve always love me!

I am absolutley [sic] excited about this product because of the difference it has made in my life, and wanted to share it with your group. It has truly made a difference in my life physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve included a few photos for your review. Please contact me if I can tell you more about this amazing garment and the nutritional products Ardyss International offers.

Most Sincerely and Feelin’ Like Ten Million,

Kimberly T. Hooker
http://www.tenmilliondollaryou.com
Independant [sic] Distributor for Arydss International
757 696 1448

Seriously? Seriously, dude? Other than that whole fucking message being the complete fucking opposite of what Happy Bodies is all about this kind of supposed all-encompassing representation of ‘how women feel about their bodies’ just makes me really angry. Let’s take it bit by bit, shall we?

The Body Magic is manufactured by a company called Ardyss International. It is medical grade body reshaper, designed by an orthopedic surgeon and medical engineer. The garment corrects the posture, supports the spine, lifts the breasts, cinches the waist, plumps the rump, and creates an instant hourglass figure – no dieting, no pills, no surgery. The garment even causes the internal organs to return to their proper places internally! (I have MRI images that proved this to me!)

Because that’s what women want! We don’t give a shit about health or exercise or anything like that! It’s all about that ‘instant hourglass figure’, that perfect fucking shape, with the perky tits and cinched waist and of course, the juicy, plump butt. And okay, the garment returns organs to their proper place….lady, organs are already in their proper place. I mean, that’s typically how the body works. It usually comes with the organs positioned correctly. What I read when I see that is a non-horrifying way of saying, “It moves your organs around!” Why am I strongly reminded of a constricting female undergarment of yesteryear that served this very purpose?

As for me personally – I got married last November and some how, some way gained 25 pounds! (my husband is such a spoiler) While my husband loves me regardless, and so do I, I wasn’t really pleased with how I suddenly looked in my clothes. After putting on this garment however, INSTANTLY, my body was transformed and I had an amazing figure. I had an instant boost to my self esteem and confidence, not that I suffered from low self esteem and confidence before, because I’ve always love me!

Where to fucking start with this? First of all, the little comment about how much the snooky-pie of a husband spoils her isn’t cute or charming or endearing; it’s gross. If this is true, take responsibility for your own damn body; it’s YOURS. And I feel like this is mildly contradictory: “It boosted my self-esteem, even though I don’t have low self-esteem and didn’t really need that boost, but WOW, what a difference it made!” What? But my main issue with this is something that I’ve complained about before. This is a perfect example of how it’s rarely about the health aspect of life and more about the ‘look perfect’ aspect. Our bodies are not okay the way they are; don’t forget that, women of the world, for society will remind you every chance it gets.

I am absolutley [sic] excited about this product because of the difference it has made in my life, and wanted to share it with your group. It has truly made a difference in my life physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve included a few photos for your review. Please contact me if I can tell you more about this amazing garment and the nutritional products Ardyss International offers.

It bothers me greatly that my involvement in something as great as Happy Bodies is used as the reason why this bullshit is being spewed at me. This is not what Happy Bodies is about. “It has truly made a difference in my life physically, mentally, and emotionally.” That just makes me sad. The fact that our bodies and the way society judges and deems them either acceptable or not has such immense power over so many of us emotionally and mentally; it’s got half the world in a fucking choke-hold. And this message just upsets me more. This person treats it like some miracle for women, because we can look better! You know what would be a fucking miracle for women? A cure for breast cancer. Available and affordable birth control and other pregnancy services. Reproductive rights. The right to choose what is and is not right for your own body. Not feeling trapped inside your body because you hate it so much. Not chasing some goddamn ghost of the ideal image.

This is the fucking body I live in.  If you don’t like it, kiss the fuck off.

Also: FUCK THESE AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED LINKS!

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Filed under Body, Health, Personal