Tag Archives: zombies

Link Dump: #57

This kitty participates in a classic cat scare, midway through Friday the 13th: A New Beginning. Jumping around, knocking down pans in a small diner, distracting us before the real danger arrives. Thanks for that, kitty. This week, we’ve got a treasure trove of links, every one of them a goodie. Enjoy!

Finally, we have a pair of baffling search terms: “film eurotic la madre con la sou fill,” which seems like a jumble of 2-3 languages with the word “erotic” misspelled, and “brazil pussy sex with animels,” which I assume was written by someone with minimal knowledge of Brazil. With by own minimal knowledge, I will point out that Brazil is not known for its pussy sex with animels. Harmful stereotypes, people.

Leave a comment

Filed under Cinema

Link Dump: #50

Courtesy of Jasmine’s pet tiger Rajah, we’re easing ourselves into the post-Halloween season—that bizarre holiday interregnum known as “November.” So finish noshing on that discounted candy and join us for these (still pretty Halloween-centric) links:

Since this is the 50th-ever Link Dump (wow! 50!), we decided to celebrate through search terms. Here’s the deal: every single day, we receive countless hits through searches like “[actress’s name] pussy.” This happens with a lot of actresses. So, as our gift to you, here’s a list of a few dozen actresses (and other, sometimes fictional people) whose names have been repeatedly searched for alongside “pussy” (or “cunt,” or “twat”):

  • Winona Ryder, Sarah Polley, Faye Dunaway, P.J. Soles, Hermione Granger, Carrie-Anne Moss, Rita Hayworth, Melanie Lynskey, Tilda Swinton, Helena Bonham Carter, Julianne Moore, Catherine Keener, Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Winslet, Sandra Bullock, Abigail Breslin, Isabella Rossellini, Teri Garr, Annette Bening, Nicole Kidman, Vivien Leigh, Amanda Seyfried, Emma Stone, Katherine Hepburn, Anna Faris, Jesse Eisenberg, Agnes Moorhead, Janet Leigh, Lily Tomlin.

4 Comments

Filed under Cinema, Sexuality

White Shadows

By Andreas

Directed by Victor Halperin and produced by his brother Edward, White Zombie (1932) is such an oddity. An early independent production, it lacked the prestige or budget of a Universal monster movie, yet has lingered in the public imagination thanks to public domain video sets and a renewed interest in all things “zombie.” With the exception of Bela Lugosi in his prime, the main cast consists of once-prominent silent film thespians who had a hard time adjusting to talkies—Madge Bellamy, for example, acts like a zombie even before Bela hypnotizes her, while John Harron (playing her fiancé) is agonizingly hammy and almost incapable of a convincing line delivery.

To be honest, the film would probably work better silent, only then we’d be deprived of Bela’s rich, heavily accented voice. The dialogue is certainly nothing to write home about; apart from a few passages imbued with Bela’s dark poetry, it’s mostly perfunctory and dull. White Zombie’s saving grace, however, is its visuals: the film’s a maze of interlocking motifs, occult imagery, and resourceful camera tricks that grab hold of the viewer. The actors don’t so much “act” as contribute different patterns to White Zombie’s monochrome textures. Vultures, shadows, staircases, the fleurs-de-lis on Madge Bellamy’s dress—each piece adds to the film’s dreamy, tragic power.

Presiding over this nightmare is Bela’s voodoo master Murder Legendre. (With a name like “Murder,” did he really the option of not being evil?) At first he’s just an ominous background figure, a magician-for-hire contracted by a jealous suitor to enchant away the affections of the bride-to-be. But over the course of the film, he comes to dominate the lives and free will of every major character. If he’s Dr. Caligari, then everyone else is Cesare. Especially chilling is the scene wherein he explains the origins of his zombie slaves: each one, it turns out, was one of Legendre’s enemies in life. Each one used to be an active, opinionated individual… and now they serve the man they hated.

The ghastly thoroughness of Legendre’s revenge infects the whole film. Haiti’s geography is reduced to a plantation, a cobwebbed castle, and a craggy countryside inhabited by souls in Legendre’s thrall, whether they’re explicitly zombies or not. It’s a metaphysically bleak film, but also a very romantic one; Harron and Bellamy’s relationship—in all its passion and voodoo-induced tragedy—manifests itself repeatedly onscreen through subjective camera techniques like this:

This is just after Legendre has snatched the young bride from her whiny lover’s arms. Distraught over his loss, Harron wanders through a local saloon and is struck by this apparition on booze-soaked table. This technique is especially impressive because it predates Jean Vigo’s L’Atalante (1934), with its famous (and very similar) swimming scene, by a good two years. Surprisingly innovative for a cheap horror movie that’s barely feature length!

I also love the impassioned gesture that follows the tabletop ghost: the heartbroken young man watches the shadows of dancers and drinkers along the saloon wall and, envisioning his would-be wife in them, embraces the shadows. It’s a pretty powerful metaphor for the pain of lost love and just one of White Zombie’s strange, touching visual details. Recycled sets and uneven cast notwithstanding, the Halperin brothers created something hazily special in White Zombie, more in the tradition of Jean Cocteau than that of Tod Browning. Hidden in bargain bins for decades, it’s an oneiric gem waiting to be rediscovered.

3 Comments

Filed under Cinema

The Past Decade in Horror, Part 2

By Ashley

About a week ago, Andreas posted his top 10 horror films of the past decade for The Montana Mancave Massacre and now it’s my turn up to bat. We spent quite a while discussing what we thought were the best horror films of the past ten years and then to narrow that list down even more while trying to avoid a lot of overlap between our lists. It wasn’t too hard: we’re both die-hard horror fans and love a lot of the same films but still have very specific tastes and things that appeal to us especially. So, without further babbling, here’s my list of the top 10 films from the past decade!

10. Grace (Paul Solet, 2009)

As I’ve shown time and time again, I am a sucker for pregnancy/infant/child related horror. Due to my own internalized fears about pregnancy and children, even the worst of this type of film could still chill me. Grace was an unexpected gem for me. After Madeline’s obsessive attempts to have a baby in a completely controlled environment fail, she gives birth to an undead baby who lives on Madeline’s blood. I thought it did well with the typical “evil baby, scary pregnancy” cliches. It could have gone in the direction of the It’s Alive remake and made the baby like a wild animal eating people’s throats out, but Grace offered up a much more subtle horror. We watch as this young, widowed mother literally lets herself be drained, physically and mentally, for the sake of her child.

9. The Others (Alejandro Amenábar, 2001)

I was about 12 the first time I saw this movie and it seriously scared me; I slept with my light on for a few days afterward. As an adult, the film still chills me. Nicole Kidman gives a powerful, sometimes icy performance (which is kind of her thing but it really works here) as the long-suffering mother of two photosensitive children. I love The Others because it really is an old-fashioned haunted house story: large, dark shadowy manor, foggy woods, ghosts hiding behind curtains. Something else I love about it is how emotional the story and the characters are. I sometimes feel that horror films tend to shy away from tapping into the emotional potentials of the genre, as if being sad and being afraid are two mutually exclusive emotions. The twist ending may not pack that much of a surprising punch but what the climax lacks in creativity it makes up for in raw emotion.

8. Shaun of the Dead (Edgar Wright, 2004)

Shaun of the Dead is one of the best zombie parodies ever. It manages to quite flawlessly mesh comedy, horror and romance. Shaun is so perfectly balanced: it never gets so cheeky in its self-awareness like some movies (cough *Zombieland* cough) that it renders the horror aspects of the film ineffective, and the romance doesn’t overwhelm the plot or feel shoehorned in. In any other slacker comedy, our loveable but lazy and ambitionless protagonist would learn to be more responsible and hardworking through a series of wacky events; in Shaun, he learns it through a series of wacky and terrifying events that involve beating zombies with a cricket bat, pretending to be the undead, and defending their very penetrable fortress of a pub.

7. Ils (David Moreau & Xavier Palud, 2006)

I love French horror and I love home invasion movies. Pretty simple. I live in mortal fear of someone not just breaking into my home, but fucking with me while they do it. Coming in and messing with a person’s home is such a violation; our homes are where we go to be safe and the idea of people entering it and making it dangerous is terrifying. This movie is often compared to The Strangers, which came out 2 years later, and in my opinion Ils is the superior film. Mostly because Ils is not fueled by an Idiot Plot; our two main characters don’t leave each other alone or get caught by the people invading their home because they make foolish mistakes. The only reason they (spoiler) get caught by their assailants is because they’re simply outnumbered. It’s so simple and so chilling.

6. The House of the Devil (Ti West, 2009)

I want more movies like this movie. I am the audience for this movie. Slow and atmospheric, it builds quietly, bides its time, gives the audience little jolts of fear but for most of the film deprives us of any release in adrenaline. It just builds and builds and builds, winding the viewer up tight with expectation. It’s a pitch-perfect throwback to the horror of the late ’70s and ’80s; it emulates all we love about that era’s horror flicks while managing to be a superior film than most of them. It takes some of the best horror cliches—Satanists, babysitter, scary house in the middle of nowhere, satanic pregnancy—and turns them into something new. It’s a weird, satisfying blend of familiarity and modernity. And I still maintain that “Are you not the babysitter?” is one of the most chilling lines in recent horror cinema.

5. The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2005)

The Descent scared the ever-loving shit out of me even before we got to the scary, wall-climbing cave people: tight caves and crumbling rocks, claustrophobic sets, total darkness and total vulnerability and helplessness on the part of our characters. Scary shit, for sure. And then they get attacked by the creepy cave creatures. One of the things that sets it apart from other horror films is that not only is the cast entirely female, but most of them actually act like they like each other. You get the sense that these women are actually friends, not backbiting teenagers whose only defining characteristics are either “have boobs and die sexy” or “have boobs and be final girl” like we’re usually served up in typical horror. Even with Sarah and Juno, between whom there is a very palpable rift, you can sense that they’re at least trying to work things out. I have kind of a thing for bleak endings (some of my favorite movies include The Stepford Wives and Martyrs), so this movie, from start to finish, is right up my alley.

4. Oldboy (Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Some people don’t consider this a horror movie and I’ll admit that it’s definitely got a revenge plot going on rather than a straight-up horror narrative. But I feel like often times revenge films (and especially South Korean revenge films) have lots of horror aspects. And in any case, this movie scared me pretty intensely. The very premise is scary enough; kidnapped and trapped for 15 years, no idea why, your captors never talk to you or tell you anything. And then you’re let go, again no explanation. Beyond that, all-consuming revenge is a concept that deeply frightens me: all you exist for, all you want, your entire identity is wrapped up in revenge. And then, in the case of our protagonist Dae-su, to reach the end of your endeavors only to find it was all for naught, that this was the plan all along and, worst of all, that you’ve been fucking your daughter. I’d cut my tongue off too. And that ending. Does Mi-do have any idea who Dae-su is? Has Dae-su really forgotten the truth about who this woman is? Or is he so desperate for love and comfort that he’s willing to pretend he doesn’t know, just to keep the love of his lover-daughter? Creepy, disturbing, intensely unsettling stuff.

3. Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson, 2008)

This is the only overlap between my and Andreas’s lists and it really can’t be avoided. Let The Right One In is undeniably one of the best, most powerful, beautiful films of this past decade, horror or otherwise. Since Andreas already discussed this film in his list I’ll keep this brief. Oskar and Eli are one of recent horror’s most deeply sweet and troubled couples. The quiet of this film is what gets me; it’s not full of screams and a pounding soundtrack. It’s so quiet that you can literally hear the snow falling in the opening scene. It’s such a full and complete quiet that when something terrifying does happen and someone gets their throat eaten or someone screams it’s like shattering glass. I could literally go on about this movie for days, so suffice it to say that I love Let the Right One In.

2. Martyrs (Pascal Laugier, 2008)

Something else I love is the New French Extremity. I can’t explain why I love Martyrs so much. I saw it and didn’t sleep for about two days. Not because I was afraid but because the movie had affected me so deeply that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What was this movie trying to say? What was it saying about women and violence and religion and mental illness? Why am I so drawn to a film that doesn’t have a single ounce of joy or hope? Because Martyrs is not an enjoyable film; it’s an endurance test from start to finish. I guess one of the reasons why I love it, why I’m drawn to it, why I consider it one of my all time favorite horror movies is because, other than being a deeply terrifying film, every time I watch it I spend days thinking. I like movies that make me think and this one does that in spades. Ultra-violence and incredibly unsatisfying ending aside, it’s an intensely intellectual film in that it encourages (and sometimes forces) people to think about what is happening.

1. Inside (Julien Maury & Alexandre Bustillo, 2007)

Long time readers of this blog should already know that I am a big fan of this movie. I’ve written at length about it a few times. I’ve mentioned my deeply internalized fears of pregnancy and children and how that manifests itself as a deep fear and love of all horror movies involving pregnancy/infants/children.  Inside is everything I love about pregnancy horror: I love the way these horror films take the clichés about pregnant women and twist them through the codes of the genre, turning maternity into a horrifying perversion of itself. We all know the stereotypes about Mama Bears and snooty moms who bicker with each other and all that jazz. But once horror gets its hands on these ideas, bickering turns to terrifying stalking and bloody show downs and pregnancy turns into an all-out, no-holds-barred war. And frail little Sara’s hugely swollen, vulnerable body is the battleground.

4 Comments

Filed under Cinema, Feminism

Feminist Film Smackdown: Zombieland

By Ashley

[Note: this article is written under the assumption that those who read it have already seen it. Spoilers.]

On a whim, Andreas and I decided to watch Ruben Fleischer’s Zombieland; we love zombies, we love parody, so it seems logical. After coming to the sobering conclusion that zombies have been so parodied and so ingrained into our pop culture that there’s no way they can be scary again (barring some intense, 28 Days Later-esque film coming out and completely rejuvenating the genre) we hunkered down for what we thought would be a relatively good, funny zombie parody. Overall it delivered on the funny (and the blaahhhh when it wasn’t funny) but it also delivered on a few other things: plot holes, sexism, and gender stereotypes.

Hit the jump to see me unload the snark…

Continue reading

17 Comments

Filed under Cinema, Feminism

T&A & Spaceships in Heavy Metal

An animated sci-fi/fantasy anthology film, Heavy Metal (1981) is the perfect salute to its namesake magazine. It’s about as deep as a paper plate, and consists of seven mediocre stories that end at arbitrary points; it embraces the laziest genre clichés and emphasizes T&A over dialogue or characterization (or, well, anything). At the same time, it’s full of gorgeous, imaginative art that more than redeems its needlessly gratuitous violence and pitiful attempts at comedy. It may be the ultimate treat for stoned teenagers, but it has a few nuggets for the rest of us, too, in the form of spectacular alien vistas and good-on-evil battle royales.

Does this make up for Heavy Metal‘s many weaknesses? That’s contingent on the viewer. Can you endure its casual sexism and total disregard for good storytelling in exchange for the occasional eye candy? I only have limited experience with the comics magazine it’s loosely based on, but watching Heavy Metal: The Movie is a lot like browsing through a yellowed back issue on a musty store shelf. You get the general ideas, you understand that the creators had a deep affection for Golden Age sci-fi or Robert Howard-style sword-and-sorcery, but you don’t have time to linger; eventually, you have to stop browsing and move on.

In the movie, there’s nothing much to linger on. It’s just a blaze of sensory impressions—some awesome, others lacking, a few infuriating. The weakest segments, for example, are probably around the middle: “Captain Sternn,” “B-17,” and “So Beautiful and So Dangerous.” Each of them has only a single idea to sustain it, whether slightly funny or slightly scary, and also has no story arc to speak of. In theory, yes, zombies running amok on a B-17 in World War 2 is cool, but that’s all there is here. Similarly, aliens, robots, and a naked woman on a spaceship sounds like a promising set-up… but “So Beautiful” sucks nonetheless, because it’s nothing but that set-up, realized with the voices of Second City Television alumni.

The more successful segments are “Harry Canyon,” “Den,” and “Taarna.” Although their stories are raw homage with little to no original thought, they’re still lovingly rendered, hinting at the kind of bizarre worlds that can come to life when underground comics meet adult animation. “Harry Canyon,” probably the best of the lot, takes place in a dystopian New York of the future, as the titular cab driver reckons with gangsters and a femme fatale. As usual, the writing is negligible, but the segment’s urban hellscapes are brimming with life and untold stories. The animation’s rarely perfect, but it’s still cool and inventive.

Overall, that’s pretty much the only reason to watch Heavy Metal. It’s an hour-and-a-half-long genre fiction wet dream that screams, “Hey! Look at this groovy dragon I drew! Wanna see it eat somebody? Also, TITS!” To be fair, both “Den” and “Taarna” have some groovy dragons, and the film as a whole has occasional moments of utter weirdness or inspiration, all delivered in the most grandiose of tones. It’s far from the thrilling something-for-everyone epic it makes itself out to be, and it’s also not really “adult” animation; adolescent animation might be a better label. But you wanna see some dragons, tits, and spaceships? Heavy Metal will not disappoint.

1 Comment

Filed under Cinema

Link Dump: #15

It’s that time of year again! The “most wonderful time”! The time when you start feeling bad about how inadequate all the presents you’re giving are (and all the people you’re forgetting), when you feel guilty over not being able to spend enough time with family, when it’s cold as fuck outside and a new year is looming around the corner. Wonderful.

This week’s special Xmas kitty comes courtesy of Rankin/Bass’s stop-motion classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964), because Ashley vetoed my selection from A Garfield Christmas (1987). And now I have an inadequate present for you, dear reader: links! Here’s the best of the Internet for the past week:

  • Andrew Pulver of The Guardian wrote this terrifically in-depth essay on Jules Dassin’s great noir Night and the City.
  • From the “What If?” Department: Victorian Star Trek, complete with sepia tone.
  • The verse may not be great, but Adam Watson’s “Dr. Seuss does Star Wars” drawings are hilarious. Especially Jabba.
  • Vulture has “2010’s 25 Best Performances That Won’t Win Oscars,” many of which are dead-on, and contain a few more end-of-year overlooked movie suggestions.
  • Slate Magazine has 17 overlooked Christmas movies, including All That Heaven Allows and Eyes Wide Shut. That’s my kind of list! Keith Phipps of The A.V. Club has three more, one of which features Jimmy Durante and a squirrel.
  • The San Diego Film Critics Society gets my admiration for 1) being one of the few critics’ groups to break with the Social Network solidarity and 2) actually making interesting, wide-ranging choices. Scott Pilgrim! Shutter Island! Never Let Me Go! Variety!
  • Here’s a hilarious top 10 movies list from Lisanti Quarterly. I seriously can’t wait to see The Super-Loony One.
  • But with all this year-end cinematic partying, we can’t forget the year’s worst movies: here are lists from The Film Doctor, The Telegraph, and The A.V. Club.
  • The ultimate holiday present: zombie-centric reinterpretations of beloved movies!
  • You know what’s really threatening America? Businesses that say “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Thankfully, some clever Who down in Whoville came up with GrinchAlert.com, where irate customers can put Baby Jesus-hating stores on the “Naughty list,” and presumably boycott them. (Go sarcasm!)

As your reward for receiving the above gift, here’s a bonus: the past week’s wacky search term action! I was greatly amused by the horny redundancy in “i like sex and pussy also” and the saccharine overkill of “animated smiling heart.” Someone accidentally created a porno spoof title with a dash of Latin by searching for “dr. jekyll et mr. hyde fuck.” (Let’s not dwell on the mechanics of that action, by the way.) Lastly, I’m kind of baffled by all the hits from “fogging cockroach.” Maybe they’re searching for an exterminator? FYI: Pussy Goes Grrr is not a bug extermination website. We also can’t recommend any good ones. Sorry, and have a happy winter!

2 Comments

Filed under Cinema